It's nothing new, I've know for a really long time.
My husband is aware of the fact! (Please pray for him!)
And so are my children.
But I'm trying. I'm trying to be better. I'm trying to let things go. Because do all those little things really matter? No they don't! And I know this....I really do. So why is it so hard.
I've decided that baby steps is going to be the best way to start dealing with this.
A few weeks ago on a Sunday night, I went upstairs with the kids to get things ready for the next day. You know, clothes laid out, library books in book bags ready to go back....that sort of thing. Maggie room was a mess! (At least it was a mess in my eyes!) I try really hard to make things simple for her. I put a laundry basket in her closet for all her dirty clothes (just one basket...she doesn't have to sort or anything!) To me it's very simple to just put the dirty clothes in the one basket, but I ended up finding several, like seven or eight different dirty socks under her bed!
WHAT IN THE WORLD!
Isn't it harder to put the socks under the bed than to just put them in the basket?! UGH!
I was NOT happy!
I yelled...
and she cried!
Later than night while I was apologizing for yelling, she apologized for "not being a good girl!" My heart broke.
I have since cried several times about how badly I'm screwing this poor girl up!
So, after much talk with Andy and friends, I have decided to take a new approach! I am going to let her room be her room. I'm going to let her pick up when she feels like it needs it! I'm going to trust that she makes wise decisions when it comes to her room. If she doesn't have clean socks because they are all under the bed...so what...she will have cold feet! If she doesn't put things back where they belong...so what, they aren't my things.
The only rule is, that if we are having company over (not her friends....but mine!) then I have to right to tell her to pick up....otherwise, it's all up to her. I also informed her that if I didn't like the looks of her room, I could shut the door at any time! That would be her "flashing neon sign" that it might be time to clean up!
I also told her how hard this is going to be for me. That she might need to remind me to "let it go!" So, wish me luck and I'll be sure to keep you posted!
10 comments:
Great job, mama Sullivan! I'll help keep you accountable, if you like. From one control-freak to another.
As a control freak myself, I say "way to go!!". These are all the same lessons I am trying to learn myself. I'm so glad we have each other :)
I totally get this. I have the same issue. Gretchen is younger so I still just do a lot of it myself and now need to start having her take more responsibility.
I worked really hard with input from her to decorate her room and now it is hard for me to let her decide what she wants to hang on the walls and where she wants to put stuff. She has her artwork all over the walls which to me screams clutter, but I have to remind myself that it is her space.
I'm just glad to know I'm not the only control freak!
Wow! That's huge. I can only imagine saying that to a teenager! Go girl!
This makes me chuckle but also know that we will be there on Thursday mornings to listen and pray for you and Maggie. :)
All is good!
I've been there! I've only got one home now and she keeps her room clean, but us control type can always find other things to worry about. I like your plan!
I can only imagine how much angst this decision might cause you...I'll be praying! =)
You do have to let it go. I do that with my girls and one's room is spotless and the other one's is.....the TOTAL opposite of spotless .....I have let it go......good luck :)
Sorry forgot to leave my name in the above post.....it's Carrie
Traci, I almost cried reading this - this is me to a T. I walk by Savannah's room and it just makes my stomach tighten up at the huge mess. But then I think - "Why? Why is it so important that she keeps things cleaned up to MY standards? She's 5!" So I have A LOT of letting go to do. And I have cried many tears after handling things badly with her. Thank God He gives a fresh start every day! :)
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